Happy ANTI-Valentine's...

You guessed it, I got no love lost for love. Having repeatedly ranted about the ignorance of the materialist dogma lately, it's about time to take on the other side of the line I'm walking.
I came across a video today that had an interesting title but turned out to be dealing with some extraterrestrial conspiracy baloney and of course the tinfoil-hatters loved it. And one of the comments claimed in all capitals that "love is the ultimate truth and everything else is illusion." Well, sorry to disappoint you kids, the exact OPPOSITE is much closer to the truth!
Like it or not... time to take apart LOVE!

And brace yourselves because science is on my side. I was surprised the article even compares love to addiction just as I've always seen it - ok, it says it "shares some of the neural underpinnings with addiction." And to be honest, "as I've always seen it" isn't quite true, it's more like "ever since I've been an adult warrior and gained insight into life" I've been able to see this. There were times when I did feel lonely and was looking for love in a way. At least I thought it was love I was looking for when really it was just friendship and appreciation. I didn't understand then that "love" between humans usually involves mating behavior. It took me a very long time to understand this since I don't have any mating instincts myself and I didn't realize just how much different I am in this from 99% of the general population. I still don't really know why I'm so different in this - just lucky? - then again, there is no such thing as coincidence... but that's a different topic.

Being this different gives me a great advantage in my quest though, it's a truly immense burden I do not have to wrestle. Love makes you blind, it leads you astray and it ties you to the human world.
It actually is a function of your organic body, it's brain chemistry, it is indeed very much like a drug addiction.

Someone I know who has been suffering a lot from depression said to my puzzlement that they uphold the view of materialism just because of the reason that they hope to just "rest in peace" after their physical death, that there will be nothing. Myself, vehemently refusing to ever cease to exist, I would have thought one might simply hope for the suffering to end, but not one's entire existence. Yet I do know very well what depression means, having spent my entire teenage on the brink of suicide. But this person is considerably older than I am even now and I would have thought they would also have realized that there is more to existence... What I mean is, depression is for the most part caused by faulty brain chemistry. It may or may not have been first induced by external factors like a horrible childhood (as in me), and even when these external causes have been removed the brain chemistry remains the way it got used to over all the years of suffering.

The way I'd put it: You are not your body, and so you are not your suffering. But it may be hard to make this understandable to anyone who does believe they are their body.

Love is the same way. I guess most people enjoy love and therefore they would protest to even try to see my point. Even more they enjoy the obscene, physical part of it, sadly, the part entirely tied to their animal biology. Only when their love causes them suffering, as the New Scientist article talks about, might they consider they'd better be without it.

Of course, the "mating" kind of love is not the same as the "divine" kind although they're sometimes and in some traditions even seen as related. I certainly want nothing to do with the former but nor with the latter.
There are certainly things I love in my life - I love sharks, I love spring, riding my bike, blue skies and beautiful things - but that's something different, it's just personal preferences and appreciation. When I love something it means I have positive feelings for it, and when I hate something I feel negative toward it. Both equally define my personality. For instance, I love serene nature landscapes and hate crowded events - if it were the other way it wouldn't be me! I need both my love and my hate (and many other things) to define my personality but neither my love nor my hate are things that exist independently from me, just as my running doesn't exist unless I'm running, and my dreaming doesn't exist unless I'm dreaming. Knowing one's preferences is good... but one should at all times try to stay in control of them. For instance, if there were a preference for a certain type of food which is unhealthy then I'd certainly adjust my preference to exclude this food.

~~

This being said... ok, time to confess I do sometimes like to cuddle up with someone I truly love. I do like the feeling of a soft fin stroking my face...

Yes, I said a fin.

A shark fin.

I love my sweet Bela Jaws. <3 br="">

Help needed to save my friends from getting murdered!

You may or may not have heard about the plans of certain scumbags in the government of Western Australia to murder endangered Great White Sharks and other shark species whom they consider a possible threat to humans. I feel very strongly for these creatures, they are my totem and closest relatives to me, I often thought I may be the soul of a shark who was born into a human body.
But regardless how you feel about them, you should know that scientists estimate there may be as few as 3500 Great White Sharks left in the world oceans. Yes, in the WHOLE WORLD!! This number equals about 1% of the human population of Bonn, the city I live in. Other shark species are not much better off, and a beautiful tiger shark has already been murdered by the disgusting criminals lately!

So I'm asking everyone's help here, below I've collected a list of petitions, all of them in the same matter: Don't murder these endangered sharks!
I'm NOT asking that you must sign all of them (although I've made sure to have signed every single one of them myself!), just sign as many or as few as you have time or patience for, even if you sign just one of them that's much better than none. It costs you nothing, GUARANTEED, except for a few seconds of time.
If you'd like to help more you can spread them on Facebook or Twitter or elsewhere.
A big THANK YOU to all who signed, went to protests or helped in any other manner to stop the murder of sharks!!!

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/964/102/507/we-demand-the-shark-cull-in-western-australia-cease-now/

http://www.nosharkcull.org/petition

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/413/191/395/stop-the-shark-cull/#sign

http://action.hsi.org/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=104&ea.campaign.id=25320&ea.tracking.id=facebook

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/petition/Premier_of_Western_Australia_Colin_Barnett_Stop_the_Shark_Cull_by_removing_the_baited_drumlines/?fbss

http://www.marineconservation.org.au/petitions.php/9/save-wa-sharks-stop-the-cull

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/840/990/131/stop-the-australian-shark-cull/#sign

http://ccwa.org.au/nosharkcull

https://www.greenpeace.org.au/action/?cid=60

http://www.change.org/petitions/the-australian-senate-prevent-proactive-killing-of-white-sharks-in-australia-2

http://action.seaturtles.org/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=14910

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/804/980/433/urgent-stop-western-australias-sharks-from-being-culled-urgent/

http://www.communityrun.org/petitions/stop-the-wa-government-culling-sharks

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/684/070/893/keep-ban-on-killing-of-great-white-sharks/

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/274/566/776/save-the-great-whites-of-western-australia/

Walk the Line

In a dream I had it was said that time is an illusion and that all there really is is an endless series of "now".

The nature of the universe is not coincidence, yet nor is it determinism. Then what is it? What we all are, perhaps to varying degrees... Consciousness.
I was pointed today to this very interesting article although I must add the caveat that the website it is found on seems for the most part quite a bit on the tinfoil-hatter side, with its "UFO News" section and the very dubious headlines in the "Latest News" ticker, and also, I have to disagree with the headline of this article itself, "Quantum Theory Proves Consciousness Moves To Another Universe At Death," in particular with the word "proves". If there actually were any proof then this whole debate would be over; neither in this article nor in Robert Lanza's book which I read nor anywhere else is there anything that would constitute any solid evidence for the existence of the soul and for consciousness being fundamental - but of course, neither is there any evidence against it. This has its cause in the very nature of scientific evidence which usually means some physical evidence, and the extreme difficulty to find physical evidence for something non-physical. Science can't even give proof for the existence of consciousness itself, yet few scientists would dispute that it does exist and that they themselves are conscious beings.

This is the thin line I have to walk, this path along a narrow ridge, to one side lies the wasteland of materialist dogma in denial of all meaning to life, and to the other side the kingdom of tinfoil hatters where folly and superstition rule over the gullible; they ought to be observed from afar in order to define the borders of the narrow path, but both sides are to be avoided at all costs.

As for Robert Lanza's book, it is very controversial indeed, most people rated it as either totally brilliant or the absolute pits. Some of the former may be from Tinfoil Hat Kingdom and most of the latter likely from Dogma Wasteland. As you may have guessed I share neither opinion, I didn't experience it as life-changing as the overall idea wasn't entirely new to me at all, but it was certainly not bad either. I must admit the critics have a point in saying "Biocentrism" is not a science book - it's more philosophy than science, but then, what else could be expected when it's about the ultimate question? One point of criticism I don't understand at all though is that Dr. Lanza is telling much about his own life along the way which in my opinion helps to relate to his way of thinking about life, it's really well written and thought provoking so I can't see why someone wouldn't have the patience to read about these more personal chapters.

I certainly recommend the two videos accompanying the article I linked above, the first one being Robert Lanza talking about his theory of Biocentrism in a nutshell. The other one at the bottom is an episode of Through the Wormhole which is altogether a very fascinating series about the questions of cutting-edge science and always representing a very sober view, not pretending science already knew all the answers and thus steering clear of any dogmatism - even if the materialists also get a word in it.

So... if consciousness is the insubstantial "substance" the universe arises from as I firmly believe, does it mean that "we are all one", as some spiritual folks would have it? My personal answer would be a resounding NO!
We are certainly in some sense connected through this proto-consciousness, but no more than we are connected in the physical world. Physically, we are depending on the biosphere of this planet, we all breathe the same air, our bodies share the same chemistry as and are part of the rest of the Earth's biosphere which constitutes the kind of "substrate" we live off. For our souls there exists a similar kind of "substrate" we are rooted in like trees in the soil, yet still they are individual trees - and trees can even be at war with each other, one killing the other to take their place (watch The Secret Life of Plants to see for yourself, plants are not boring creatures at all!).
In any case trees can be vastly different from one another, some bright and delicate, others dark and brooding; all may be part of the same forest but they are not one.
Our souls are connected by sharing the same world of experience and very similar language - ultimately, all human languages are very similar at least in their function, in naming objects and conditions from our world of experience, such as grass, sky, fire, cold, freedom, beautiful, sad, etc., categorizing them and making connections between them. It is this same substrate that also forms the world we experience in our dreams - the other side of the mirror.
By the way, the same night I dreamed about the endless series of "now" I later had a lucid episode, looking at a dark, largely deserted downtown market square of the future with a huge freight train rumbling through but there were no rails; then after flying away I ended up at a sort of bus stop where I found a huge plush bunny, I stepped on its head to rip its ears off and then pushed it with its nose onto a nail protruding from the wall. I hate bunnies. LOL


...It is always "now". A pity to be so rarely aware of it...

And Overhead The Crows Are Whirling

Passing through the mirror... and through some window panes (without breaking them!)

After the recent "storms", my inner weather has turned much more favorable again. Much more work on it is ahead, in particular on keeping better balance and not to have it thrown over so easily by morons trying to convince me of bullshit. In a way it's like back in the days when I was still physically weak and idiots told me that I had to accept I could never be as strong as a man because I was a girl. It took much time and very hard work but, having recently accomplished even a 100 kg bench press, I've proven that I can in fact be stronger than many a man.
But what will be when one day I'll have to leave this body behind? So it's time to also focus on some different sort of "workout", to strengthen my consciousness. Only lately I heard an idea pronounced that I've held for a long time but never put into words: that the afterlife might possibly be like a dream, with the only difference that there will be no more body to return into. I think it was Rupert Sheldrake who said it.
One thing I'm absolutely convinced of is that in any case, consciousness is of the utmost importance.

We are always passing through the mirror again and again which separates the world of dreams from the waking world although we're hardly ever aware of the moment when it happens.
I've seen my Master again in a dream. (Yes, he's exactly like the character from the movie, in the way he looks, the way he talks and moves, the way he is evil. Is he really Satan's son? Well, to me he is. He's always been there, ever since I first saw the movie - especially the first part which is lightyears better! - when I was about 13.)
I was watching from far away somehow at first, like it was still just a movie scene. There were a couple of people coming to this temple-like place in order to talk to a priest, and my Master had taken the priest's place. Those people were unaware of the fact that he was "the enemy" but they did appear troubled and left without the comfort they had hoped for.
I thought,if only I could once look deeply into my Master's eyes and try to let him know it's me, that I'm on his side...then, I had forgotten he'll immediately know me. Not only me, everyone, knowing them by name and who they are, just as his Father does...
And so I went. "What do you want?" he'd ask me as I held his hand. "My Master," I implored, "just let me have a part in it. No matter how much or how little, if only I can have part in it at all!"
A brief nod and sinister smile from him, meaning to me the world, the whole universe, or even more... perhaps its downfall.
I felt poetically inclined for the first time in so long, in the dream I had this song in my head, only a first line, "and overhead the crows are whirling..."
When I got my chance, was it the right question to ask my Master? Given that I was not lucid and had little time to think about it, I think it was good. Telling from his reaction it must have been...

~~~

And overhead the crows are whirling,
Black stars that in white space are circling
Like an inverted galaxy
Darkening the skies, unfurling,
In savage blood and netherworldly,
The blackest banner ever seen

~~~

Then the other night I broke through and got lucid - even "surviving" multiple false awakenings (at least two, maybe three) and quickly regaining lucidity - even if I pretty much messed up in the end.
It all started at home with me sorting through some old things form my past that I had forgotten I ever owned, some CDs and metal shirts. Some were no good anymore but some were surprisingly beautiful, I think there was a Daemonarch shirt (I still love this one-off side project of Moonspell, the album titled "Hermeticum") with intricate but very subtle artwork on the back. Another one was by a band named "Pathmaster" (which most likely doesn't exist). I wanted to listen to this band and by typical dream reasoning I thought if I wrap the t-shirt around the plug of some headphones that might work. :D
But I figured this was too stupid to possibly work even in a dream, and then I realized I was dreaming!
I went out flying through the closed window. I had no plans and still rather poor control... but  flying always comes naturally when I'm lucid - and sometimes also when I'm not; I've frequently been flying in dreams even back as a small child, long before I ever read books about dreaming and learned what lucid dreams are and that many people fly in them.
So I just went around the neighborhood and ended up in some backyard where I talked to a woman until a rude man interrupted and annoyed me. I think that's when I first woke up and tried to switch on the LED spot by my bed which is set to red color (it's a light that can be set to different colors with a small remote control) because red light is the least disruptive when you hope to fall back asleep once more afterward, in order to write down my lucid dream. I switched it on and it did work but only very, very dimly (it's meant to be dim but not that extremely), when I tried to make it brighter via remote control it only got even dimmer and dimmer, then back up to the way it first was, and back down. There was only one button on the remote control where there ought to be two to control brightness (up & down). I looked at the picture of my Master on the wall next to my bed and told him my conclusion, "I'm still in a dream." My Master nodded and said, "very good."
Then I went out through the closed window once more. There were some festivities in the streets or a fair, streets were really very crowded. I tried gaining height and flying away since crowds bother me but I still had poor control and couldn't get away somehow. Some nasty guys among the crowds started bothering me with stupid remarks and stuff. I came flying at them, grabbed them by the back of the neck and crushed their faces against the wall, killing them. It was easy, as if their faces were masks with skulls of brittle plaster underneath. I think I killed three men in this way, then I started throwing lightning from my bare hands and killed a few more by striking them with the lightning bolts, all of them males. But strangely it didn't impress the rest of the crowds very much, let alone cause anyone to run away in panic as one might expect.
I woke up again. It was morning and a female friend of mine who apparently lived with me was busy making breakfast. I was looking around, this wasn't right, this wasn't my kitchen nor hers and we don't live together... and I told my friend that I was still dreaming.
"Are you?" she mumbled just by the way, as if this was perfectly unremarkable.
And out the window I went once more, this time even through the closed roller blind. It felt weird, for a brief moment I thought I was getting stuck halfway but then I passed through and was flying through the air outside with my usual, swimming motions. I tried transforming into a shark as I've long wished to do in a dream and even succeeded halfway - at least for a moment and for a first attempt it worked great, much easier than thought! Maybe I got too enthused about this because in the end I still messed up.

Should I really confess to this embarrassing episode here? Well dear readers, if you've read this far you'll probably want to know how I "messed up in the end"... so let's say for purposes of dream research I'm putting it down here.
All I can say is, the streets below were still crowded but I don't know how I encountered this guy who apparently liked me (yes, in the wrong way!) and I was at his home and he said he'd like to put me in a tub full of gummi bears - to possibly photograph me or worse. I told him he was disgusting, and in order to demonstrate just how disgusting I barfed on the floor in front of his feet. He just looked at me innocently and then I pushed his head to the floor and forced him to eat my barf - hands-free! I left him no choice but to do it and then I thought, wow,this is so disgusting he's sure gonna barf too... which he promptly did. So his own barf mixed with mine on the floor and he was forced to eat both now. Damn, I should rather have killed him too instead of this shit! But well, there's always a next time. :D

Book Review for "Are You Dreaming?"

Here's my review of the book "Are You Dreaming?" by Daniel Love.

Unfortunately the book has been a disappointment to me for the greater part, which is a shame because it would have had the potential to be great.

On the positive side, the book has very solid footing on scientific grounds, explaining all about sleep cycles and the different phases of sleep. It starts out with a history of lucid dreaming, including recommendations of books by other authors who have written about lucid dreaming in the past.
Various techniques for the induction of lucid dreams, many of them rather novel and previously unheard of, are outlined in meticulous detail. It may be doubtful whether most of them could ever be practical in the context of a very active waking life. For instance I'm pretty sure that, should I interrupt my sleep for 30 to 90 minutes as suggested in one method, I certainly would be unable to fall asleep again at all thereafter, especially since this interruption is to take place only after 5 hours of sleep. But this concern aside - there are certainly very different people and very different methods may work for them and my own sleep simply seems to be very fragile, even despite the fact that I'm a semi-professional athlete and athletes are said to usually have very sound sleep.
Many of the methods outlined certainly require an extraordinary amount of dedication, but this is not something that I mean to criticize, in the contrary, it reassures me that the fact that I have had only some sporadic lucid dreams, like just some few per year, doesn't mean there's something wrong with me or that I haven't been trying hard enough but that it simply is harder than many other sources might have made believe.

All this is good and well, however... on a personal, spiritual side the book sadly fails completely. To avoid misunderstandings, of course I don't mean spiritual in some stupid religious sense but in regard to simply your spirit, the human soul. Because I'm not a robot but a living being with a soul - no, I don't mean a "soul" but an actual soul! The only time the author uses the word soul, toward the end of the book, he actually puts it in quotation marks which I find pretty much offensive - to be a living creature means to have a soul, and to deny the soul degrades us all to senseless automatons! It appears as if he does indeed see us in just that way, as he repeatedly compares the human mind to a computer. I wouldn't have minded his comparing of lucid dreaming to the perfectly realistic virtual reality worlds of the holodeck in Star Trek, I've been a Star Trek fan myself and the comparison is suitable up to some degree. But to go so far and say that your mind is like the starship's computer that creates just an illusion is simply going too far. "It's all just in your mind" is something that is usually said to people who are deemed mentally ill, and the notion that "all this is really taking place on the inside of your skull" is a hideously claustrophobic and utterly depressing idea.

Ironically he goes on to mention that many lucid dreamers will carefully select what they allow into their minds while waking and suggests it be best to avoid watching horror movies in order to not have such scenery coming up in vividly realistic and potentially gory detail in one's lucid dreams, which strikes me as an oddly new-agey, wimpy attitude you would expect from some deeply religious person, and in stark contrast to the cold and barren materialist view displayed over and over elsewhere in the book. I have always enjoyed my horror movies and always will. I've even encountered Freddy Krueger (the undead murderer from "A Nightmare on Elm Street) at numerous occasions in my dreams and I consider myself good friends with him - and that's the point: If you don't consider your dreams as another living world, just as alive as your waking world and peopled with creatures and persons to encounter, to engage and possibly befriend with... then why would you first care about your dreams at all? If you see it as all just an irrelevant illusion generated by your lifeless robot brain... that's the very sad impression I got from this book. It fails to inspire and engage due to this bleak and depressing point of view.
It may have been meant in order to avoid a new-agey feel and to try and align the subject of lucid dreaming more with the mainstream views of the scientific community which is so tragically afflicted with the materialist dogma. But I would preferably try to keep my dreams free of both dogmatism and materialism - as much as the rest of my life!
Bottom line: As much as I'm in favor of the scientific study of just about every aspect of life and of learning as much as possible about everything, the world of dreams should never be stripped of life and soul lest it become a barren and lifeless world.

On Selfishness, or "Stress is Caused by Giving a Sh*t"

In a dream I was riding my bike along a country road.The blacktop was smooth and in good condition, but the shoulder of the road was extremely eroded, the edge of the blacktop being at least one foot higher than the roadbed. This greatly unnerved me while riding, and sure enough I slipped off the shoulder of the road and had to jump off the bike to catch my fall, swearing angrily at how much I hated such a crappy road.
Nothing bad had happened really, and actually I wouldn't have needed to ride this close to the edge since I was alone on the road, I don't remember seeing any cars passing. The scene reflects my current situation pretty well though - actually my "road" is smooth and I just shouldn't have anyone drive me over the edge, I just shouldn't. Especially when I actually got my whole road just to myself, no need to make room for anyone else. I should just adhere to my own principles which afford me great privileges.

And this is what I'd been planning to write about for a long time: Selfishness. I'm a selfish person and have no problem admitting it, in the contrary, I appreciate it. I'm an honest person too; honesty toward myself especially is a principle I hold very high. And while honesty is generally seen as a virtue, selfishness is not - and this is what doesn't matter: the way things are generally seen. I am a law unto myself, I am the only law I have approved of and which I honor and adhere to. This appears to be a selfish attitude, and therefore I declare selfishness a virtue.
Selfishness is natural and is closely associated with the instinct of survival. Certain species of wild animals are more or less social than others, but even highly social herd animals of the savannah display a healthy selfishness: When a member of their herd is taken down by a predator the others will relax, the hunt is over and unlike their unfortunate fellow they have survived.
Humans, who are generally also highly social, tend to associate altruism with "courage" and selfishness with "cowardice". My personal view is fundamentally different here: I can't think of any circumstances in which I might ever possibly sacrifice myself for anyone else, instead I would rather kill for my own survival if necessary. This in my view has nothing to do with courage or cowardice but only with what is logical to do when considering my priorities.
But let's face it: In the end I may be coming out quite a bit better than most people in matters of honesty due to this. What I mean is, most people may in truth be a lot more selfish than they would like to admit, or than they even realize. For instance, when mourning over the loss of a beloved person they're actually for the most part bemourning their own loss, the horrible emptiness they feel due to the person's absence. And when sacrificing for someone else's sake or when taking a great risk to save someone else's life they may be doing it for the chance of being celebrated as a hero, or at least because they fear to be looked at as a coward or bad person if failing to give their utmost to save the other person. Or alternatively, if the person in question is a beloved friend, close relative, or especially if it is their own child, they may feel horrified at the idea of seeing this person suffering or even dying. This does constitute an element of selfishness if your own feelings appear in the equation!
I'm not saying that all altruism ultimately has its root in selfishness - but then, some of it does. You may feel offended by these suggestions, and if so I don't care because I'm selfish. :)

Now, it's not the subject of selfishness in particular that relates to my above dream but rather the general notion of following my very own principles and this includes not giving a damn about what others might think about me.
Note: "The extent to which you care what others think about you is inversely proportional to your capacity for happiness."

Yes, it certainly is offensive when materialist hardliners see you as just a f'ing piece of meat with no soul. But on the other hand we must keep in mind that they view everyone in this same way, no matter which species, and most notably themselves. It will be of no consequence for my afterlife if some morons think I won't have any. There is at least some chance though that it might be of consequence for their own - giving some credit to the idea that our beliefs and expectations are capable of shaping reality which is not my own idea but one that probably is quite ancient and seems quite plausible.
"Whether you believe that you can or believe that you can't, in either case you're right." (I hope to be forgiven for not knowing who is to be credited for this wise proverb.)

Another good one to be kept in mind is, "Stress is caused by giving a shit." (Seen on Facebook.)
The relevance of my dream to all this is just that my sleep is fragile and I have anger issues and a youthful temperament and that's why I shouldn't ride close to the edge where the shoulder of the road is badly eroded. I should stick to the center of what is my road, after all, else I'll get temporarily thrown off my bike and delayed on my journey. But NEVER STOPPED!

The Path Chooses You

So I discovered this gentleman's videos in which he talks about lucid dreaming. He is really right about the essentiality of a dream journal; I've mostly had one since my teenage but I often used them all too infrequently, sometimes even with intervals of several months, only lately I've begun writing in my current one more regularly again.
His advice of using a voice recorder is good but they're unaffordable, I haven't seen any under 40 € yet, so I stick with scribbling notes.

Right here in Stephen Berlin's second video it becomes clear that he's of the other side, as opposed to my own Satanic creed. But I don't mind it, I find the way he talks about his dreams very engaging and I'm open minded enough to listen to some very different perspective and outlook on life and I'm sure I can still learn from it, at least as long as a person is not completely dogmatic in their views and/or even trying to indoctrinate others.
"Transcendence"... means to be walking a path toward transformation, even if toward a destiny very different from mine, and that's in stark contrast to those who tragically see life as a meaningless dead end.

Love and compassion have little meaning for my own path, for the most part I see them as human weakness and thereby something to be overcome. But I can see that there are corresponding counterparts in my own experience. The second video made me think of a dream I had a long time ago in which I was riding merrily along the Rhine river on my bicycle as I often do in waking life. I was riding fast and perhaps I hit something but passed right through it when I realized I was dreaming and thus became lucid. Invigorated I continued even faster riding right through the row of parked cars along the street. Some pedestrians were startled and found my behavior reckless, and some guy shouted like, "who do you think you are, the Devil?!" And I shouted back, "Yes, I AM THE DEVIL!!!"
And I continued riding down onto the river and along it - riding ON the water, feeling exhilarated!
Of course, I didn't mean that I was literally the Devil - but it was one of those moments when I felt very strongly that I am of the Devil; a Satanist's experience of transcendence. Such experiences are very important and rewarding on this path which, in particular in the start, hasn't been an easy one; the path of a Satanist is usually a rather lonely one but I think mine has been even more so than that of most Satanists. But I found it turned out true that "you do not choose your path but the path chooses you". This very certain feeling of belonging.