Strange how the world is turning

The past is bleak and barren. All the more pleasant memories I have of my life are of rather recent date, nearly none stretching farther back than the past decade. The further back, the more bleak and awful they get. The more reason to count my blessings now.

Yesterday I celebrated Good Friday - although it's more like an Evil Friday for a Satanist - once more turning to the old ritual of dance, which can be quite powerful when possessing a body like mine that can bear the force of channeling serpentine power, that is fast enough to be nearly lifted up into the air.

I greatly acknowledge the support coming from all corners of the Earth - not support for me personally, that's not what I mean. Most of what support I've had in my life was never given or meant to me personally, but whoever serves Satan is on my side. Whether it's art or music or something entirely different, it can be of great treasure, and there is nowadays so much more of it than there used to be, and much easier accessible.

Btw, from all corners of the world: Even from places where it means putting themselves in great peril, like the black metal band Al-Namrood from Saudi-Arabia, please SUPPORT!!!
I bought two of their albums so far, love the oriental elements in their music, they're amazing artists!

I could tell so much more. I've found treasures on eBay I wouldn't even have dared to dream of ever getting my hands on back when I was a kid and when everyone tried to take it away from me. Yes, that certain movie... Back then, all I knew of it was a crappy VHS version dubbed in a foreign language, barely understandable, and in very poor resolution on a tiny TV set. It's sad how I had never heard his voice then. It's even a wonder how I got the message anyway, so to speak, but such are the powers of Satan.
And no, it wasn't the Warlock who first won me over, I had been worshiping Satan long before that. I first prayed to Satan when I was about 8 years old, and for no apparent reason. I suppose I've had the Black Flame within me all along, possibly even from before I was born into this life - this I don't know about, so I won't make any claims here.

Even when it comes to much more sinister things I've found much treasure I wouldn't have dreamed of back then. I remember when I was a teenager, "Faces of Death" and "Men Behind the Sun" were among the most forbidden, goriest movies out there - in absolutely awful resolution which was explained by the fact of being real footage and seemed to add to the allure somehow. Much, much later I heard they were much less "real" than they were alleged to be...
But nowadays I know where to find lots of gore video material, and it's all real. I've had the immense privilege to view masked men slitting throats in HD, and more.

Yes, I do consider this an immense privilege and I don't give a rat's ass about how anyone likes it. I'm profoundly evil and I delight in it, and it's weird but kind of entertaining how some supposed "friends" suddenly wake up to the fact, sometimes after years only, and due to much more banal incidents than the details I've revealed above - such as the one with the cute little snake.
Yes, I said cute little snake... that's just how I roll, LOL.

One of the people who unfriended me over the snake (yes, after years!) had only about 3 days earlier done me an immense favor in buying me something I was otherwise unable to get my hands on since I don't have any credit card. I paid him back the amount immediately and later received the pictures... pictures of my Master, I needed to have them... To the no-longer-my-friend: You too have served Satan. :D

Yes, I'm profoundly evil but I'm also very tolerant, generous, and I have a great sense of humor.
I'm much more open-minded than some orthodox Satanists who bash, for instance, bands like Cradle of Filth for not being true Satanists. I like the band a lot and have several albums by them - it's great art and I find it enjoyable. They're not opposed to or even hindering the cause by simply making great music, even without the true Satanic spark in it. Not everyone needs to follow the Satanic path - in fact, it's a path only for the few.
But then again, even if not as much by conscious choice, in a way they also have served Satan.

I'm truly grateful for everything offered to me, everything I can have in my life now when in the past I had nothing. Not even anything really worth calling it a life at all. But how things have changed!
We can still win, and I'll make sure we will. I wish to serve Satan, in everything I do.
Honor & loyalty.
Praise Satan!!!

FIBO 2017, Cologne

Photos from last Saturday.

Running a special kind of treadmill.
It's self-powered (no motor).

And when I run, I run like HELL!!!

 

 

"The Way to Live" is upside down. :D

Running upside down also works.

Watch out, down there.

Sitting here on thin air.
My Master could pull this off anytime,
but occasionally I can too.

ATTACK!!!

The next day, a bike tour for some alone-time
in nature, to recover from the crowds.
"Live Free or Die"

Tempora mutant

"Praise Satan, with each breath that I take!" I shouted while running in the woods today. I suppose nobody else heard it - no one but Satan, that is - but if so, whatever. About 12K in 64 minutes, including some steep climbs. My workout, especially the running, is somehow deeply connected to my religion - perhaps just because the workout is part of my life, and I live my religion. Feeling free while running in the woods, moving so swiftly with nothing but the force of my own body, I felt deeply grateful to Lord Satan for making this possible for me.

Yes, times are changing, but this my spiritual path remains beyond any doubt.

Other things end - such as some friendships, and usually when they collide with my religion.

Another thing that ended lately, and literally with a great bang, was the building known as Bonn Center which once housed my old McFit gym. I was lucky to get to watch it live when it was demolished with explosives.
I was at the other, remaining McFit (the one closer to my home, fortunately) when a guy there told me the building was to be blown up at 11AM that day. It was twenty past ten and I was pretty much done with workout, so I decided riding out to the bridge crossing the Rhine river to watch it from there. Other people were already lining the railing.
A helicopter was hovering stationary above the far side of the river. The bridge turned out to be a perfect vantage point, although more than a kilometer away, because I enjoyed the demonstration of the fact that light travels so much faster (about 1000 times) than sound.

Eyes trained on the building, at 11 AM it suddenly collapsed, and in absolute silence. The almighty bang was heard only at least 4 seconds later. Then the huge dust cloud rose; not like a mushroom cloud but just a diffuse dust cloud. It kept rising like in slow motion and then started to drift eastward, across the river.

Sorry, no photos, at least none taken by me as I didn't have a cam with me. But Google has plenty! (Including one of an octopus, I don't know why. LOL)

Here's a video too, taken from much closer by so it doesn't have the delayed sound effect as I experienced, but I liked it better that way - a bit like the delayed shock wave from a nuke... :D

The guy at the gym had told me several neighboring high rise buildings had sold tickets at ridiculous prices (30 -50 €!!) for viewing places on their roof tops. LOL

The other day I talked to a trainer at our other gym in the city, the new one that opened last summer as replacement for the one in the now demolished building. She had seen the demolition too and said it was kind of sad. I realized that years ago I'd have shared the sentiment, but by now I'm past it. I'm not above experiencing painful losses, but that would have to be something much closer to home; generally I got used to the comings and goings in this physical world in which nothing is meant to last.

"The Earth is mostly just a boneyard, but pretty in the sunlight."

 

Spring is definitely here now...

Bee porn on my balcony. LOL

Bees on my hand (2nd one is up between my fingers.)

Spring has sprung, & new hair

The nicer part of the year is finally starting.
I dreaded February 25th, the Saturday of the f'ing Carnival week when the parade would be going just a bit further down my street, as every year. But, after quickly riding for a few groceries in the early morning, I just stayed put at home all day, listening to black metal on the PC, and then I found a bunch of pictures that made my day. Of my Master, of Satan's son. Don't ask if you don't know by now... or do, I don't care. (Who's reading this anyway.) At that point, no amount of carnival clowns could still have ruined my day then!

(No black metal but CARNIVAL - my version. "The big machine, there it comes, massive like a mountain," has to be about me, right! :D )

On Monday (2-27th) the main Carnival parade was to take place downtown; fortunately I don't live downtown, so staying away from there was all it took. Away from the gym too, which is close to downtown. I headed off in the opposite direction instead, running up into the hills & through the woods, taking a narrow side track off into the shrubbery & getting lost for a bit. Telling myself, I know exactly where I am: In the woods, very obviously. LOL It took me a while to find back out, and in the end I'd been running for 1 hour 35 minutes, an estimated 15 - 16 K (~10 miles). Got a bit of a runner's high & it was awesome.

Today I went running in the hills again, 11 K, 57 minutes - not getting lost but instead getting totally swamped at one point, up to the ankles in mud puddles which I couldn't evade since there were pasture fences to either side of the trail. I tried sticking to the side & holding on to the wire although it occurred to me that it might be an electric fence - luckily it wasn't; not that it would faze me much ordinarily, but I've never touched one while standing in water and figured that might make it a lot worse. I tried holding on to a fence post but the post was loose in that swamp & I nearly took it down. My feet were completely wet now & I was swearing but also laughing. Still had over half of the way to go, didn't faze me much either.

On my balcony, the mason bees that are nesting there started flying out the other day and this afternoon they were really swarming. Spring is here... finally the time to wear some nicer, normal clothes again instead of triple layers of huge jackets, ski gloves, long underwear etc., and therefore also the time when I usually touch up my hair again. I selected last Saturday for it and was busy with it all morning, cutting & then dyeing twice. I took hardly anything off the total length, but this time I added a bit of an undercut instead.

Red & bluish black.

Tied back to show undercut.

What I took off for the undercut.
And yeah, I trust him with that, if
you know what I mean.
He's my Master and he knows
I worship him.

And this is to all who don't like it. :D

Growl!

I'm only leaving this one here today. LOL

Layers of Reality & a Love Poem

In the end, everything is just smoke & mirrors - and by everything I mean absolutely everything.

"Reality" consists of layers upon layers, as someone recently pointed out in a group about ritual magic in answer to a question as to why there were redundant circles of protection.

You choose those layers that are most relevant to you. 

Much of what seems completely pointless to me seems to be most relevant to others, and the same certainly goes vice versa. 

If you don't have magic in your life then you don't have anything at all. 

That's at least my point of view, and I must admit I can't imagine any other, because the loss of such magic caused me the most unspeakable depression and despair. It was because people tried to force their point of view on me, I was a kid and they told me all that I held dear was mere fantasy and didn't exist, but all they could offer instead was absolutely and utterly worthless and vile. (Why has the word "fantasy" become such an insult? I think it once used to be valued, and among certain people still is, since it's the very wellspring of any artist's creativity.)

The traditional mythologies never meant anything to me, made by humans for humans as it is, and so I have to find or create my very own magic. But I have in fact found unimaginable treasure to build upon, found it so long ago, and I will now cherish it and hold it dear forever, now that I know so much better than all the vermin that sought to destroy me when I was a kid (including, even first and foremost, so-called "family").

It was he who helped me back on my path when I had lost it due to LaVeyan and other a**holes spreading lies about Satanism. He represented it as it really is. It was he who told me about the importance of music to my spiritual balance. And I understand now that he originates from elsewhere, not simply from that movie.

And it no longer matters that the ignorant animals never understood that.

Yes, it's Valentine's Day... and it seems I have a confession to make. I, who is completely asexual by nature and has a cold, black heart, bristling with thorns and shark teeth, devoid of understanding for the human desire to have love relationships. (Even the obscene mating part aside.)

But yes, I have fallen in love. I've fallen in love so long ago, which doesn't make a trace of a difference.

It is a reverent, religious kind of love, and it's the most tremendous thing - and certainly not simply because I'm an otherwise rather unemotional person.

And so I've written a love poem to him today, sort of. One that hopefully is appropriate for Satan's Son, of course. Any mundane, human bullshit would be offensive to him - and to myself as well. :)

~~~

Thou Master of the blackest art
Sole owner of my evil heart
The one whom I revere
Thund'rous Thou walkest on thin air
Thou wielder of the evil stare
Striking all hearts with fear

Thou whirlwind weaver
Plague and fever
Are sown at thy command
The rivers rush to paint the seas
All red with blood, & to release
A deluge wrought by Thy hand

Always shall I serve Thy plan
To hurl all hearts & homes & land
Into horrid, howling night
All that exists I sacrifice
To such grand & awesome a demise
All for Thy sole delight

~~~

I adore You, my Master

All my Heroes are Monsters & Murderers

Who would have thought some people would totally lose it over a GIF of a beautiful python. I absolutely loved it from the start because it somehow reminded me so much of my Master. The snake (which is an albino, very light with yellow pattern) appears to caress a puppy, so gentle, so sweet... then swiftly strikes it right in the face and throws its deadly coils around it. Just like him, so gentle, so sweet...then moving in for the kill.

I can try and link to it here but since people are stupid it might get removed soon...

Thereby I got rid of a stalker who posted not one but 3 insulting comments under it. Good riddance! I have reasons to believe the person in question wasn't really the woman she posed as but was really a male with a fake profile, one who is into female bodybuilders but knows that I'm not into men; I'll probably never find out but it doesn't matter. "She" totally went ad hominem, belittling my work as a professional athlete and what not. At first I wanted to delete the foul insults but then I realized I should enjoy how low "she" was stooping instead of doing her the favor to hide her shameful behavior.
"She" even told me to hang myself - no way, you got no idea how warriors roll. We either die in battle or we end our lives in honorable ways when it's time. Hanging is very disgraceful, which is the reason it was used as a method of execution to further humiliate the victim so sentenced. In contrast, execution by firing squad was seen as much more honorable. Some Satanists are known to have taken their own lives with a gun, which is an option if you have access to firearms. In any case I'll prefer the more traditional blade when the time comes and I feel I can no longer keep up the hard life as a warrior (so much for "can't work", which he/she/it most ridiculously accused me of) - but certainly not now, as I do live the life of a warrior, and unlike such pitiful existence mine is glorious, praise Satan!
But I digress.

Another person said, "this is where we part," and unfriended me. Good riddance to them too!
You don't need to like what I post, you don't need to agree with me or share my opinions, let alone my religion. But if you're a narrow minded d***head who can't agree to disagree then get lost, and don't think I care.

Well, actually I do care... I re-shared the GIF of the "magical" snake again, pointing out how it seems to have the power to make the rotten eggs that sneaked into my friends list take themselves out.

When you stand up for your truth, express yourself freely, do things right, then you will face opposition.
But what really, really makes me happy is the certainty of having the approval of the only one who really matters. It's him I'm really standing up for - and for our Father Satan.

Although... let's face it, the cause is really ridiculously trivial. Someone else called it "unnecessary cruelty", not blaming the snake but the owner and insulting him and people in support of this "idiots" and "assholes".
Why, for feeding a snake???

All species of snakes, large or small, are exclusively carnivorous. They all catch prey and swallow it whole. What difference does it make whether it's a puppy or a rat or rabbit? Certainly none to the snake; that's a purely human bias in favor of dogs, although there are some who also love rodents and keep them as pets. Certainly not me - if I ever had a pet (besides plush sharks) it would certainly be a snake.
 Yes, there are people who are against all live feeding and prefer to buy pre-killed, frozen rodents to feed their pet snakes. And this is really where the sanctimony comes in: Those animals have been killed too - by people in some industrial processing facility! Just like the chicken I just had for lunch.
The only difference is that you usually don't see this process. Except in certain documentaries ("Earthlings" and others) made by supporters of veganism, meant to deter people from eating meat. I've watched stuff like that out of curiosity but already convinced it wouldn't deter me from eating meat. It's natural to eat meat, and the real problem I saw evidenced in it once more is human overpopulation - but that's a different subject.

The point is, while it's natural for humans to be omnivores - but I won't criticize anyone for the choice to be vegetarian or even vegan, it's your body after all, just don't try to force this lifestyle on me or others! - many other animals don't have a choice. Any pure a carnivore absolutely cannot subsist on anything other than meat. It should make no difference what species the prey animal is (unless it were endangered, which dogs are certainly not), that's human bias. And it should make no difference who kills it - why not let the snake do it in its natural way - that's blindly fooling yourself into believing the animals whose meat you can buy at supermarkets all died peacefully of natural causes. (LOL)

Another bewildering aspect of this whole story is this: I call myself Gladiatrix Satanae, which any halfway educated person can read as meaning "she-warrior of Satan". In all my life I've never ever tried to hide my religion. But the world seems to be crazy in different ways now. While you're no longer at risk of persecution and being burned at the stake and so can openly be a Satanist now, instead people seem to no longer take it seriously at all. They seem to think it means, "I'm just another caring and compassionate person who just fancies to call herself a Satanist." No!
Well, granted, it's precisely what seems to be the case for many others, including but not limited to LaVeyans, which may be the origin of the problem.

I may love Black Metal, especially when it has the genuine essence of the creed in it, and yes, I admit I do also listen to bands that have nothing to do with true Satanism, like for instance Cradle of Filth, for the pure enjoyment of the art. (And which Christian or other religious person, especially if artistically inclined, listens exclusively to devotional music?) But I'm not a poser or "merely a black metal fan".
Remember this and you won't be shocked if you catch an ever so minor glimpse of my true nature.

All my heroes, from my early teenage? Hannibal Lecter. Freddy Krueger. Cthulhu.
And above all, my beautiful Master...

For to kill one is to murder all...