In need of book recommendations!

A few nights ago I had a dream in which I was flying above the courtyard between the large apartment buildings where I once lived with my grandparents when I was a kid, praising Satan aloud. Down in the courtyard were some other teenagers (if physically present I'm always a teenager myself in my dreams since this is my self-image) who were staring and shouting at me. I wasn't even angry at them, I could clearly sense they were scared of me. I shouted back at them that they could follow me if they wanted, in following Satan - although I knew it wasn't true, they couldn't really as they were simply from the other side, they didn't belong with Satan.

I do believe anyone can follow Satan provided they have the sincere desire to do so, but in order to truly have this desire it probably needs to be part of your nature. You have the strong desire to follow Satan because you are of Satan, and thereby again it's not really a choice.
I can feel this deep in my being, and while still reading "Adventures in the Afterlife" I can clearly feel the divide. I knew this beforehand and, just as I didn't blame the other kids in the dream, I don't blame the author for simply being of the other side. Regardless it's been interesting to read, but I must admit that to me it's getting more and more nauseating when again and again there is mention of "unconditional love", which to me just feels like "uncontrollable barf". And I've had the thought that this must be what is called the demiurge, and the way he baits his prey. I've heard elsewhere that the use of heroine evokes pretty much the same feeling of "unconditional love"...

In any case, yes I've learned something and the book does make sense to me to some extent, it's just that it tells only one side of the story. It tells of where I would never ever want to go, where I absolutely refuse to go, in this life or any other. If anything it has at least once more made me more certain than ever of what my nature is and where I thus belong. And I just wish so much I could find some books about lucid dreaming, out-of-body experiences, and the afterlife from a Satanic perspective. If there are any, I hope that some of my Satanic friends & brethren can possibly give me some recommendations!?

Also, I received some amazing gifts in the mail the other day for which I have to thank a very special person.
I've already put that fossilized shark tooth on an earring - it came with the wire wrapping but not the beads & earring. :)

Serpentine Path... under construction

Times have been somewhat challenging lately and not only has dreaming been difficult but in fact even sleeping has been so at times. I've been having a lot of dentist appointments after I discovered one of my wisdom teeth had partially broken away and I got no clue how it happened, I sure didn't notice when it did but it may have happened during the night. Then at the dentist's it turned out not only this one but also a second wisdom tooth will have to be extracted, plus a root canal is needed. I must admit I hadn't seen a dentist in a while and had fooled myself into believing that now that I got my warrior's body finally working quite well in all other respects, dental problems would also largely be a thing of the past. But of course, the body I inhabit is still that of a physically thoroughly degenerate species, the much I've tried my best to improve it, and years of bulimia during teenage were hard on my sadly very un-sharklike dentition. Well, there was nothing shark- or warriorlike about me back then.
Now, there's also the side effects of my testosterone injections requiring treatment, wherefore I'll have to ride to Cologne once more tomorrow - for a permanent hair removal session. Well, allegedly permanent - if it really were it shouldn't have to be repeated every half year or so.

On the bright side, I'm planning to visit the McFit gym downtown Cologne afterward of which I've heard it has some special features worth checking out, even if I don't think I'll be doing a full, serious workout there after riding the 20 miles to Cologne and still having to ride those 20 miles back too, which is a workout in itself.
My home gym is now under renovation since Monday but continually remains open - fortunately, since it's an inconvenient season for having to ride the longer way to the second gym in town all the time.
A lot else may be under renovation or reconstruction at this time, literally as well as figuratively.
Seen on some guy's t-shirt at the gym: "The road to success is constantly under construction."

Generally, this cold and dark season when you can't go out much ought to be a favorable time to look inward, and to finally get a grip on the trouble I have with my awareness. Knowing it's only the same trouble most people have, except that most don't even notice it as trouble. In fact, a far cry from being lucid in them, many can't even remember their dreams and it doesn't seem to bother them. But not remembering at all, which sadly also still happens occasionally, bothers me even a lot more than simply having bad, annoying (and non-lucid) dreams.
As some wise person said, "If we can't even retain our awareness in sleep, how can we hope to fare in death?"
This is exactly what's on my mind. Not that I'm planning on leaving for the next world so soon already, but it can always happen suddenly and one should always be prepared for all eventualities, including the Great Transition.

I finally found time to finish this drawing I meant to create, of a King Cobra, symbolizing the King of Kings, the Ancient Serpent.

King of Kings, the Ancient Serpent

An Amazon's Nightmares

So this amazon (me) received a parcel from Amazon yesterday, containing a new shark wall calendar for next year and a new book, "Adventures in the Afterlife" by William Buhlman. It's written as fiction about a man who dies and about where he finds himself thereafter, but based on the author's personal out-of-body experiences. The character in the book is a Christian who enters what appears to be the Christian heaven... I knew this beforehand but still found it interesting enough as to want to read the whole thing. Apart from that I still have to find any material about lucid dreaming or OBE's from a Satanic perspective - if anything of such nature exists I'd be most grateful for any information!

So far I'm standing alone, still alone with those haunted memories which in my nightmares come back alive. These aren't nightmares in the general understanding of the term, there's no fear involved, let alone any waking up screaming... they are simply very, very annoying, frustrating, and depressing.
In the above mentioned book, the character is greeted by his deceased mother right after he dies, and it is understood that people generally are welcomed by their relatives who have passed before them, and to many (especially Christians?) this may be a very comforting concept to be reunited with their loved ones.
The problem I have is that there is no love involved when it comes to the people I was born to, and that I need them to quit haunting me. I need to get rid of them once and for all, in dreaming as in waking.
In waking life I have long since achieved this. But in my dreams... this is another reason why I need to become lucid more than just on the odd occasion. I need to take control of this. I'm an adult warrior now and it is humiliating to continually be vexed and bothered by these people the way I was back as a child when I had to live with them. I'm finally in command of my waking life, and I now need to take command of my dreaming as well.