I was informed that my WiFi router won't be delivered for at least another week, so I still can't go online with my new laptop. So I settled for making another silly video with it. (Copy to USB drive, upload via PC.)
A little tribute to the Gunny (R. Lee Ermey), who left this physical plane last month. He made up his own lyrics too, and so did I. :)
P.S.: Oh, right... in case someone should be wondering what the Demon Core is/was - just an innocuous little metal sphere that really was almost as evil as myself. LOL
Here's the Wikipedia article.
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Friday, May 25, 2018
Good news, bad news
My new laptop arrived a week ago. For 5 days it was just sitting there and I couldn't even start it up because it's from the UK, and the power plug adapter I had also ordered from eBay hadn't yet arrived.
Late on Wednesday the adapter was delivered, and I had to familiarize myself with the new system.
Today I recorded a first test video. I was a bit appalled at how awful I really sound.
For most of my life, most or all my communication took place exclusively in written form. Few people here in Germany even speak English - at least not well enough to be willing to have a conversation in it. So I usually only talk to my Master, and we still haven't established a way to do it both ways - I haven't, that is. Learning mediumship when you're not at all gifted in spiritual matters seems the hardest thing in the world. I feel if I really wanted to become a professor of quantum physics or of nuclear engineering, that would be a piece of cake compared to this!
But well yeah... my speech defect. Just another thing to work very hard to get a grip on. I'm so very grateful I finally have a dear friend who is so much closer to my heart than she is distant in physical terms, namely about halfway around the world. Still it feels so good to sometimes talk for hours on the phone, usually in the night - or what is night for me, our time zones being separated by nine hours. This is something I've missed so much for most of my life. Yes, this is how isolated I've always been - I need practice in simply talking!
Here's my video anyway.
I'm also very worried for another dear friend of mine who is ill and who also has been treated very unfairly by another (would-be) "friend". I really wish I could help!
All we can do is try to make the best of it all and to fix things as much as possible. In the end, this remains a place of trial.
Late on Wednesday the adapter was delivered, and I had to familiarize myself with the new system.
Today I recorded a first test video. I was a bit appalled at how awful I really sound.
For most of my life, most or all my communication took place exclusively in written form. Few people here in Germany even speak English - at least not well enough to be willing to have a conversation in it. So I usually only talk to my Master, and we still haven't established a way to do it both ways - I haven't, that is. Learning mediumship when you're not at all gifted in spiritual matters seems the hardest thing in the world. I feel if I really wanted to become a professor of quantum physics or of nuclear engineering, that would be a piece of cake compared to this!
But well yeah... my speech defect. Just another thing to work very hard to get a grip on. I'm so very grateful I finally have a dear friend who is so much closer to my heart than she is distant in physical terms, namely about halfway around the world. Still it feels so good to sometimes talk for hours on the phone, usually in the night - or what is night for me, our time zones being separated by nine hours. This is something I've missed so much for most of my life. Yes, this is how isolated I've always been - I need practice in simply talking!
Here's my video anyway.
I'm also very worried for another dear friend of mine who is ill and who also has been treated very unfairly by another (would-be) "friend". I really wish I could help!
All we can do is try to make the best of it all and to fix things as much as possible. In the end, this remains a place of trial.
Monday, May 21, 2018
What else is new? Box jumps!
Yes, box jumps, of course!
It's been just over 2 weeks since I first incorporated them in my leg workout.
Also an occasion to remember: When I first changed to this new gym, McFit, back in 2012, I was in workout-paradise, it was such an enormous improvement compared to my old gym which was really crappy but where I had wasted way too many years without ever making it to pro level then.
Yet still, McFit was nowhere as good then as it is now, it got some makeovers & new equipment over the years, and that box has been there for a year at most.
Time to count my blessings. I got to talk to one of the trainers lately, mentioning my new box jumps, and he said he can't do such functional stuff, especially involving jumping, because his knee caps are too mobile due to the ligaments in his knees being too loose. It's a genetic thing, the guy is about the same age as myself, in fact I think he's 28, not old at all. He also said running isn't for him for this reason. But he's a bodybuilder, unlike myself, and apparently quite happy with that.
Well, I'm usually being labeled a bodybuilder because I'm extremely muscular for a girl, and I don't mind being labeled that. But in a strict sense it's not what I am, because bodybuilders work out for mainly cosmetic results, with the goal of growing their muscles as much as possible.
Myself I'm a warrior, I work out for strength, speed, and general agility and physical prowess. I'm interested in what I can do with my body, not so much what it looks like. And for that reason it would be really, really disastrous to me if I couldn't do such things as the box jumps.
Today was leg day and I did them again - an exercise I really, really like to do!
What you do is, you can take a little run-up, then you jump with both feet simultaneously first right in front of the box and then onto the box. With both feet at once - else it would be easy!
I was at first a bit intimidated by the height of the box. You can tip it over onto its lower side, which I did in the start (and still do for a warm-up set), so it's just about knee height (I'd think ~18''). On its higher side it's just above knee height, about 22''.
The first time around it took me a while to work up the confidence to jump onto the 22 inch box. We also got a little metal platform that can be adjusted to various different heights,and in its highest position it's just about an inch lower than the box, so I did that first, yet still the box seemed more daunting. Eventually I did it though, and so I'm quite proud of this new conquest.
And this is my legs after running. Latest time: 12K in 63 minutes - sounds slow, but it's up into the hills, including very steep parts, and obviously some difficult terrain (mud, puddles, fallen trees across the trail, etc.).
It's been just over 2 weeks since I first incorporated them in my leg workout.
Also an occasion to remember: When I first changed to this new gym, McFit, back in 2012, I was in workout-paradise, it was such an enormous improvement compared to my old gym which was really crappy but where I had wasted way too many years without ever making it to pro level then.
Yet still, McFit was nowhere as good then as it is now, it got some makeovers & new equipment over the years, and that box has been there for a year at most.
Time to count my blessings. I got to talk to one of the trainers lately, mentioning my new box jumps, and he said he can't do such functional stuff, especially involving jumping, because his knee caps are too mobile due to the ligaments in his knees being too loose. It's a genetic thing, the guy is about the same age as myself, in fact I think he's 28, not old at all. He also said running isn't for him for this reason. But he's a bodybuilder, unlike myself, and apparently quite happy with that.
Well, I'm usually being labeled a bodybuilder because I'm extremely muscular for a girl, and I don't mind being labeled that. But in a strict sense it's not what I am, because bodybuilders work out for mainly cosmetic results, with the goal of growing their muscles as much as possible.
Myself I'm a warrior, I work out for strength, speed, and general agility and physical prowess. I'm interested in what I can do with my body, not so much what it looks like. And for that reason it would be really, really disastrous to me if I couldn't do such things as the box jumps.
Today was leg day and I did them again - an exercise I really, really like to do!
What you do is, you can take a little run-up, then you jump with both feet simultaneously first right in front of the box and then onto the box. With both feet at once - else it would be easy!
I was at first a bit intimidated by the height of the box. You can tip it over onto its lower side, which I did in the start (and still do for a warm-up set), so it's just about knee height (I'd think ~18''). On its higher side it's just above knee height, about 22''.
The first time around it took me a while to work up the confidence to jump onto the 22 inch box. We also got a little metal platform that can be adjusted to various different heights,and in its highest position it's just about an inch lower than the box, so I did that first, yet still the box seemed more daunting. Eventually I did it though, and so I'm quite proud of this new conquest.
 |
| After mud battle :D |
Also, on Friday my new laptop arrived. I hope I'll finally be able to make videos, use Skype, and other stuff that can't be done anymore with my PC. But for now I can't even start it - because it comes from the UK and therefore requires an adapter for the power plug to use in Germany. I ordered such an adapter too, but that hasn't arrived yet. Couldn't have bought a German laptop because the operating system would be in German then. In some you can choose the language, but those are not under € 400.
I hope I'll get this one going in the course of the coming week!
I hope I'll get this one going in the course of the coming week!
 |
| I made this a few days ago, with blue goldstone beads. |
Sunday, May 20, 2018
Victory or Valhalla!
Why did everything have to take so terribly long?
I've had to realize that in my spiritual development I'm doing my first baby steps, pretty much starting at zero.
I'm not a natural, unlike some of my friends I came to know. Some of them are natural lucid dreamers, even natural mediums. Myself I'm not in any way gifted spiritually. It's a miracle that my Master has been able to reach me at all, so long ago, and first through that movie in which a certain brilliant and beautiful actor, with a really remarkable resemblance to my Master, played his role so perfectly. In a fictional story but with some true essence in it, the latter possibly to be seen by me alone - something I can never know, as I cannot see through anyone else's eyes but mine.
I'm so grateful that I know his name now, that I know who he is, and also that I'm no longer alone finally. I've never really been... yet still I don't have the ability to really perceive his presence, let alone to freely communicate with him. But I'm finally receiving the help so long prayed for.
"Energy follows attention," that one I kept in mind. I knew I couldn't do this alone. I had to find help. And perhaps had to be found by someone...
I spent hours on the phone once more last night. Not wasted hours, but precious ones... It's so good to spent time with a kindred spirit, even if halfway around the world, and I'm so grateful for it. She told me that back in December she was looking at the members area at In Satan's Honour, and my profile stood out to her and so she contacted me. Why would it stand out to her? I do have some idea who did that...
I celebrated the Walpurgis Night, dancing with my beloved Master.
Then on May 4th ("May the 4th be with you," LOL), right on the day it was officially published, I was able to obtain the new album by Dimmu Borgir at a downtown store, and for a great price (€ 4 less than it would have been ordering directly from Nuclear Blast). With the need to use my very limited finances wisely, I only buy albums that I absolutely have to own, and this one certainly qualifies!
I know, I know, all the stupid haters going, "They've gone full Therion," (and who cares, I like Therion too), "This is not Black Metal anymore," (who cares, do you have to lump everything into its matching category? Are you that narrow minded?), and I really don't give a shit about such retarded comments.
When I listened to the two songs published in advance on Youtube, I knew I had to get the album. This will remain one of my favorite albums ever!!!
I grew up with this band. I got their two first albums (among others), and yes, they changed a lot, of course.
This new album is incredibly evolved and elaborate, I love the very orchestral music. And the lyrics are all about spiritual empowerment. This has enormous meaning to me these days, in synchronicity with what has been going on in my life. Besides its artistic beauty, this one will certainly remain special to me!
Listen to the songs here: Interdimensional Summit
Council of Wolves and Snakes
It's a time of great change and upheaval. I see it not only in my life but also in the lives of some friends - as always, distant physically, yet so close to the heart. I wish them well and hope everything will turn out fine for them - for all of us!
I've had to realize that in my spiritual development I'm doing my first baby steps, pretty much starting at zero.
I'm not a natural, unlike some of my friends I came to know. Some of them are natural lucid dreamers, even natural mediums. Myself I'm not in any way gifted spiritually. It's a miracle that my Master has been able to reach me at all, so long ago, and first through that movie in which a certain brilliant and beautiful actor, with a really remarkable resemblance to my Master, played his role so perfectly. In a fictional story but with some true essence in it, the latter possibly to be seen by me alone - something I can never know, as I cannot see through anyone else's eyes but mine.
I'm so grateful that I know his name now, that I know who he is, and also that I'm no longer alone finally. I've never really been... yet still I don't have the ability to really perceive his presence, let alone to freely communicate with him. But I'm finally receiving the help so long prayed for.
"Energy follows attention," that one I kept in mind. I knew I couldn't do this alone. I had to find help. And perhaps had to be found by someone...
I spent hours on the phone once more last night. Not wasted hours, but precious ones... It's so good to spent time with a kindred spirit, even if halfway around the world, and I'm so grateful for it. She told me that back in December she was looking at the members area at In Satan's Honour, and my profile stood out to her and so she contacted me. Why would it stand out to her? I do have some idea who did that...
I celebrated the Walpurgis Night, dancing with my beloved Master.
 |
| Walpurgis ritual. |
Then on May 4th ("May the 4th be with you," LOL), right on the day it was officially published, I was able to obtain the new album by Dimmu Borgir at a downtown store, and for a great price (€ 4 less than it would have been ordering directly from Nuclear Blast). With the need to use my very limited finances wisely, I only buy albums that I absolutely have to own, and this one certainly qualifies!
I know, I know, all the stupid haters going, "They've gone full Therion," (and who cares, I like Therion too), "This is not Black Metal anymore," (who cares, do you have to lump everything into its matching category? Are you that narrow minded?), and I really don't give a shit about such retarded comments.
When I listened to the two songs published in advance on Youtube, I knew I had to get the album. This will remain one of my favorite albums ever!!!
I grew up with this band. I got their two first albums (among others), and yes, they changed a lot, of course.
This new album is incredibly evolved and elaborate, I love the very orchestral music. And the lyrics are all about spiritual empowerment. This has enormous meaning to me these days, in synchronicity with what has been going on in my life. Besides its artistic beauty, this one will certainly remain special to me!
Listen to the songs here: Interdimensional Summit
Council of Wolves and Snakes
It's a time of great change and upheaval. I see it not only in my life but also in the lives of some friends - as always, distant physically, yet so close to the heart. I wish them well and hope everything will turn out fine for them - for all of us!
 |
| A friendly visitor just before the Walpurgis Night. |
 | ||
| I finished the dream catcher by now. |
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