Haunted Memories

I've come to realize of late that some people may still assume that deep inside I may be just a scared little girl, a soft-hearted, sensitive creature hiding her vulnerability behind the facade of a hardcore bodybuilder and evil Satanist.
But you see, there's an old story, coming in many variations, of a lady going to a masked ball, perhaps a Halloween party, where she dances with a man wearing a mask of a scary monster. Then at midnight the party ends and everyone is supposed to take off their masks - and she discovers the monster had never been wearing one. In some versions he'll certainly kill the lady then, and possibly all other party guests as well, but this is irrelevant for my point.
My point is simply that just like him, I'm not wearing a mask.

Of course I haven't always been strong - it's very difficult while trapped in a wimpy and nearly entirely useless body. Living in isolation with zero connections and zero support didn't help either, I had to figure everything out for myself and so it took me a long time to, with Father Satan's help, finally rise from rock bottom where I had spent nearly the first two decades of my earthly existence crawling around like a worm. It sure wasn't a life, it was mere existence, and even that only barely, for the most part deprived of any route to better myself either physically or intellectually, and I did consider myself as good as dead. I had no mercy on the worm that I was, and I have no mercy on my former self in looking back now. But something in me kept fighting...

Trapped in that body of a maggot was the spirit of a predator.
When nowadays my peace of mind is disturbed so it's most often by the memories of those times of indignation. But I do still cherish the things that kept me going during those times...
Yesterday I discovered this beautiful fan video about Freddy Krueger. I dearly loved him back when I was 14 and when I wished so much I could be like him - everybody's nightmare, feared and pretty much invincible - and I do still love him now.

Of course, that was also around the time when I had first encountered my Master...

One of the metal albums I loved most was The Nocturnal Silence, by the same band that now lately came out with a song by whose title I feel being addressed personally - not me alone, of course, and yet it's only an elite few of us who have indeed stayed Satanic, and hereby I salute all those Brothers and Sisters in Satan!!!