In previous posts I've often discussed the viewpoint of consciousness as fundamental vs. the one of reductive materialism, and since I'm convinced of the former I've tried to take apart the latter. Among other things I've discussed the strange phobia of infinity as a possible motivation for many materialists to reject the idea of an eternal existence.
So it may be time to finally scrutinize my own personal biases. I think it's been in the making for a while, somewhere beneath the surface of my awareness. I guess that's how the dream story of my previous entry originated; it came up to tell me some things about myself:
So far I must have sounded as if I just desperately want to survive physical death.
To an extent that may be true, for the reason that this life can always ever be a makeshift compromise to me, as I hate being trapped in an ape body and I don't really belong here, so I hope for a life in which I can at last really be myself. But that last bit is really crucial: a life in which I can at last be myself!
Meaning I'm not as desperate to keep existing as some of those transhumanists who hope to in the future overcome death by cryonics or mind-uploading. I would under no circumstances even consider such options, if they were options. If I'm right and consciousness is non-physical then such methods probably can't ever work - but let's suppose here that I'm wrong and the materialists are right and that it would work. No, I wouldn't even consider it for myself, because existence to me would be absolutely pointless under those circumstances.
Even if there were then something like a Holodeck, which would at that point be pretty much a certainty - in case of mind-uploading you'd already be inside a virtual environment anyway. I've never been really interested in any of that. I've never even played video games of any kind.
The only kind of "holodeck" I've ever been interested in is the one in my mind. I already have that, I don't need any other. But that one in my mind works with things that are real, or that come from something real. Something I deeply believe to be real - and if it were not then there would be no place for me in this universe, would never have been and could never conceivably be in any future.
On the other hand, let's consider now that I'm right and consciousness is primal. Even in that case, if there were still the possibility of a final death of the soul and thereby henceforth nonexistence, there would be circumstances under which I'd be willing to give up my existence, things that matter more than my continued existence. It would be the ultimate sacrifice, but if justified I'd be ready to do it.
There's some saying like, "What is worth living for if you have nothing you'd be ready to die for."
I think that's true, as demonstrated in the story of the previous entry. (Don't read that, I wasn't even sure whether to publish it.)
I may be generally a cold, cold fish by nature (a shark, I guess?) who stoically perceives the world around her with mere scientific curiosity. But I do have passion inside me, most of the time hidden very deeply, but it goes all the way to uncharted depths, and it is of devoutly religious nature, it is the Black Flame of Satan burning in my soul. This Black Flame is what matters far more than my life, whether this current one or any life to come. All I've ever loved in my life is of Satan. Without my religion, what would be left of me? All that is dear to me is connected to it.
I know and I don't mind to admit that in this I have a lot in common with devout Christians and other religious people. They and I may be looking at life from opposite sides, yet I'm sure they also wouldn't want to have taken away from them what they hold most dear, their religion - even though most of them still have families and strong social relations since that's part of their religious values. I have only my Master - "only"? Well, to me the whole universe means nothing next to him!
So maybe it's not really that important to find evidence.
Some materialist atheists are trying so hard to convince everyone of their views they come over as if feeling we religious folks were missing out on something. From my point of view, we're in fact missing out on a whole lot of nothingness and utter meaninglessness. Why would the atheists mind that? It means they can have more of it for themselves... (LOL)
But yes, nothingness may also be something to believe in. I think they're fooling themselves in thinking it were even possible not to believe in anything at all - believing in Nothing is still a belief, after all!
And everyone should have the freedom to believe in Nothing, as well as to deny Nothing and to believe in something else instead.
In any case, if the atheists are right it means the universe is going to a whole lot of trouble to bring everything and everyone just from nonexistence back to nonexistence.
No comments:
Post a Comment