1. Self-Concept
Q: "What do you believe you are? How do you view yourself? Describe your self-concept in detail."
A: I am Satan's warrior. At least this is what I wish to be, what I'm trying to be. I'm not meek but rebellious, I will fight for my cause and for the power I wish to claim. My spirit is that of a shark, I'm cold, predatory, powerful. My Lord is the Lord of Lawlessness, and the only law I respect is His and mine - I'm a law unto myself. I will take what I can get hold of, make the best of what I can find. But I'll only take what is really needed, I don't pick fights and I don't burden myself with unnecessary things, including emotions. A warrior needs not only physical strength but also knowledge and wisdom, and I try to be the best I can be, in the name of Satan.
2. Personal Viewpoints
Q: "What are your perceptions and feelings concerning out-of-body experiences? Do you consider them an adventure?"
A: I think they would be a very defining part of this ultimate and very necessary adventure of my earthly life. I consider this ephemeral life just a brief episode in something much larger, a journey toward some unknown goal, and an OBE would finally prove that I've been right all along and that my journey won't turn out a meaningless dead end.
3. Motivation
Q: "Is your personal motivation to obtain answers? To solve a mystery or a problem? Is it curiosity? Is it to obtain personal verification of some kind? Be specific."
A: Although I'm curious by nature, in this case curiosity would have a minor part in it - I'd reason that curiosity would more likely be the main motivation for those who are rather doubtful about all things beyond the physical world. To me, for whom the afterlife is the actual goal since I'm aware that my time here is brief, verification would indeed be a very important point. Answers, yes... I'd hope with all my being to find my Master there, and to be given some directions - directly or indirectly, as in any case the course of my life would be changed by it in some ways. As is said in the book, knowing for sure is so much more that only hoping and believing...
I may be a loner but I'm not separate from my environment, and therefore I must admit the zeitgeist of the latter has often sown doubts and disheartenment.
4. Safety
Q: "Do you feel that it is completely safe to have an out-of-body experience? Do you have any concerns,such as that you might become lost or die? Be specific."
A: No concerns whatsoever. I know I will physically die anyway just like everyone else, and exploring beforehand where I'll be headed con only be of advantage. If there should be any dangers on the other side then it would still be better to find out early as I would eventually have to face them anyway. It's in any case a perfectly natural thing to do.
5. Special Ability or Talent
Q: "Do you believe that some special ability or talent is required to have an OBE?"
A: Here we're indeed touching on a sensitive point. I've so far had very little success with lucid dreaming and even less with my sorry attempts of meditation, and I fear that OBE is even more advanced than both of these. My ability to concentrate is poor, I'm unable to relax my body, and very easily distracted or irritated by the noisy environment I live in.
6. Importance
Q: "Do you consider this exploration important to your personal development? On a scale of 1 - 10, how important is it?"
A: I can give a clear 10 here since I've always had my focus on the far future, much farther than an ephemeral human body could ever endure, and since I've never been very comfortable with the human shape anyway. I'm clearly a stranger in a human body, thus my focus has to be beyond.
7. Desire
Q: "Do you possess the inner desire and drive to follow through? What benefits or information do you want from this experience? How strong is your desire?"
A: On my personal journey I've long since realized that an important part of my mission is to navigate the narrow line between delusional superstitions on the one hand and the materialist dogma on the other, both of which are fallacious dead ends. I must therefore necessarily have extremely strong desire to prove for myself that there is in fact a path that is real and leads onward.
8. Commitment
Q: "Are you willing to devote the time and effort needed to achieve your goal? Are you willing to commit 30 minutes a day for a month?"
A: For something of this magnitude, 30 minutes a day doesn't seem like a lot. I might have problems to accommodate any other physically strenuous type of work besides my very intense workouts, but as long as none of that is needed, nor the psychologically very stressful personal interaction with people, I have no objections to committing this much, and more, time and effort to open the way!
9. Fears
Q: "Are you anxious or fearful about this kind of exploration? Do you fear the unknown, the dark, or new challenges? Are your fears logical or the result of a lack of information?"
A: A Satanist doesn't fear the dark. And the unknown is only the inevitable which one not-too-distant day will open up anyway. It is far better to prepare myself now while there is time. As a warrior, I'm always ready to take on challenges if they can get me further on my path. I have no fear of this;my greatest fear would be to find nothing,and that my life, and all life, had been in vain.
10. Religious Beliefs
Q: "How does out-of-body exploration fit into your religious beliefs and concepts? Do you consider this a spiritual experience?"
A: To the latter question, certainly yes! I think all true Satanists [*] believe in OBE's. Even back as a teen I heard talk about "astral journeys" from other Satanists and occult folks; this term, especially in some awkward foreign language,always sounded corny and superstitious somehow though, like some act of magic unattainable to any mere mortals.
The fact is, I'm lacking guidance here on Earth; I know I have received guidance but it has always come from beyond. I have the strong hope top finally meet my guide,in full consciousness, and not only in vague, non-lucid dreams.
[*To clarify once more: Satanists = worshipers of Satan; LaVeyans and/or other atheists are per definition NOT Satanists!]
11. Degree of Difficulty
Q: "Do you believe that this experience is natural and easy or difficult to achieve? Why do you feel this way?"
A: Natural, yes,but certainly not easy. I feel this way because of my lack of success with lucid dreaming and meditation. A few lucid moments are all I've achieved with the former, and with the latter nothing at all. I've tried it a lot but always felt that I was somehow doing it wrong, plagued by itches and distractions and painful tensions in my body (which are never there when I'm in motion but only when I try in vain to"relax"). At all the many times I've tried I've never come away with the feeling, "today I've successfully meditated fro the first time." Not one time.
12. Confidence
Q: "Are you confident that you can achieve your desired goal?"
A: Considering the previous point, as well as point 5, no, not very.
13. Expectations
Q: "Do you expect positive results? What are your personal expectations?"
A: I'm very uncertain about this. With very modest success at lucid dreaming, and zero at meditation, I feel about it pretty much as if intending to do a 120 kg bench press without having been able to do even 100 kg yet.
14. Personal Issues or Limits
Q: "Are you aware of any personal issues that may limit your ability to have an out-of-body experience? If so, write them down."
A: I think my greatest problem is my incapacity to relax my body, especially when at rest and intending to. Lack of mental focus, too. Both my mind and body are extremely restless.
15. Goals
Q: "Have you made this exploration a firm personal goal? Is it a written goal? Is it an important goal? Is it a priority?"
A: In principle, yes to all. I have a physical body that requires lots and lost of maintenance through very hard work, which is the one priority that could never be exceeded - but from what I've heard, this might even be an asset (as in exercising and a healthy lifestyle being encouraged for lucid dreaming & OBE).
This body requires such intense maintenance while it endures - but the future can only be beyond this body, so yes, it is a firm goal of utmost importance for me to reach beyond!
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| The path. |
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