The Long Wall

As usual, yesterday's story is another one elaborated from a dream, playing with a slightly different style this time, mostly using present tense except for the italics which this time around represent my Master's thoughts instead of my own. I decided to close the story where I did although I had originally planned to write more, about the "passing through the mirror" and some more murder scenes, but I'm leaving this for the next one which is already underway. I often work on several things at a time; the stories may seem redundant but I don't care, I don't mean for them to please anyone. They're my personal dreams and visions, and they're for me. There will always be blood and murder, and of course there will always be my Master, and these stories are one of my ways to connect to him.
My life - my stories. Don't like it? F.O.A.D.!

Today I meant to write down some thoughts about another story though, one I've known for a long time, from a book I've had since early teenage. It's a collection of Necronomicon myth stories, and this particular one is called Settler's Wall.
It's about a wall that is found to have only one side. The protagonists who stumble upon it are trying to find out what's on the other side of it but it doesn't seem to have another side, try as they might to scale it and get to look behind, they always find themselves back on this same side of the wall. Their ambitious attempts to get to the bottom of this mystery - quite literally, even resorting to explosives - is told in a masterful fashion, conveying the sense of dread evoked by this object that shouldn't be.

It's an unforgettable story, but only recently did it occur to me to also see in it a metaphor: The dread that there might be no other side - as in a materialist world view. To me this is a nightmarish idea indeed, and it could possibly be expressed with a wall whose other side can never be reached because no other side to it exists.
Personally I'd only be most intrigued if I actually found such a wall - not horrified at all.
I'm rather horrified at the idea though that there might be no "other side" after this ephemeral physical life - not horrified in the sense of scared (it's very hard to scare me) but in a sense of meaninglessness, resignation, despair.
I find that I'm extremely goal-oriented. Not toward bullshit goals that are temporary and ultimately lead nowhere, but goals involving my personal development. I have absolutely zero interest in leaving any legacy here, because the few people who mean something to me won't be here much longer than I will, and I don't give a rat's ass about humanity as a whole.
I'm here for myself, and for my Infernal Father, and I believe what I shall find on the Other Side will depend on how well I fight my battles here.


Faith is everything - this I was taught; yes, by my Master. Faith, honor, loyalty.
Curiously, some materialists profess to hold similar values - not faith - but honor, loyalty, and mostly even some altruistic bullshit. Curiously, because it makes me wonder how such values could possibly have any meaning when their constrained world view leaves no room for meaning.
I just wish I wasn't so susceptible to the vexing doubts sown by the proponents of mainstream science, and what makes me susceptible is the very fact that I'm otherwise about as sensitive as the armor cladding of a tank. So I need to resort to brute-force computation instead...

Settler's Wall is a really amazing story. If such a wall existed that has only one side however, I think it would rather be some evidence in the affirmative of the existence of an "Other Side" - not to that wall, but of things reaching vastly beyond all that we can comprehend or even imagine.
I believe such a wall could exist, for the reason that it can be thought.