Of many names & many truths

I wasted to much time on that crap about the uncool turd burgers in the previous post -
"Congrats, Diane, you just immortalized stupidity."
- "I did what?! Oops... FISH!"

FISH. :D

It would be far more worthwhile instead to delve some more into the ideas brought up in the video lecture I linked to previously.
Regarding déjà vu and the simulation hypothesis, I strongly disagree with the explanation proposed by Anthony Peake, that déjà vu might occur at points in life where we fouled up the last time around, in order to yield a chance to improve on it this time.

One of my best friends is freaked out by the idea of "loop life", and I absolutely can't blame her.
Death - even total death resulting in nonexistence as assumed in the materialist view - would be far preferable over being trapped in this shit forever!
No explanation is offered as to a possible purpose of such a scenario, other than "building the perfect life", which doesn't even seem to be a possibility in this linear something. The whole idea seems naive and confined to a narrow and too human perspective, missing the larger picture, and this although he previously pondered quantum physics, the nature of space and time, and the meaning of the speed of light.

The latter ideas were truly brilliant, in particular where even preceding what I had already been planning to write about, in regards to the speed of light, namely that the nature of time dilation experienced by anything approaching the speed of light will become infinite at actually reaching the speed of light (which, we need to remember, is impossible to reach for any object that has mass): time comes to a complete standstill from the perspective of the light, traveling at its speed c as in a vacuum.
Viewed from the outside, we can observe light traveling at its immense and yet finite speed; from our perspective, the light takes time to traverse a given distance - even billions of years when it comes to cosmic distances. But it seems that from the perspective of light itself it would exist outside of time, since there is no more passage of time at this speed.
This being the very reason why it is hypothesized that to exceed the speed of light would mean to move backwards in time.

Yet we all can only take what we see and experience and try to draw our own conclusions.
I remember once hearing the story of some autistic person who, I think, had even written a book about how he experienced the world, which he described as "colored shadows and bats," which sounds not even unappealing to me since I like bats very much, as well as all sorts of colored stuff...
The point is, I too can't claim to be seeing the world as it truly is, because no one can. I have no comparison, nothing else to relate it to, since I've only ever seen the world the way I see it, and the same goes for everyone. The question is: Is there even a way the world really is?

I would answer to this question in the negative. The reason is difficult to explain, but there is no other way to perceive existence at all but through consciousness, and consciousness is not all one.

The idea it might be "all one" irks me so much because it promotes conformism and negates individuality. Among other things. And this, in turn, stirs up the immense hate and wrath I harbor against God - the tyrant that seeks to assimilate all!
I probably can't really understand what drives people to embrace the idea to become so assimilated, but I speculate that it may be a sort of horror vacui, a fear of void and isolation - to which I can relate to a certain extent although I probably have it much less than others. I wouldn't want to be completely isolated from everything either, but I want to select what or who I wish to unite with - with forces only which I can embrace completely and without any reservation. Needless to say that for me this would be with my Master and with our Infernal Father.
And I've always found great comfort in ideas of others, especially when expressed in art, poetry and music, that are in alignment with mine. It delights me to find there's so much of this darkness out there, and it seems to have been multiplying greatly in recent decades while I've been alive in this incarnation.

"Dies Irae Dies Illa Solvet Cosmos In Favilla
Vocamus Te Aeshma-Deva"
(Dissection, "Starless Aeon")

(Btw, I was searching for an exact translation of this line, by the Swedish band Dissection, and stumbled upon a forum post by someone asking for a translation as well since these lines are "in Swedish or something." LOLOLOL! Seriously?! Ok, I can read a little Swedish, but even if I couldn't... mistaking Latin for Swedish?! Nooo... hahahaha!)

The right to Evil, the right to be an Outlaw!!!
I've ever found solace, and even joy, only in the very darkest things.
I guess that's how my Master found me.

After all these years and I still don't know his name, always I've only addressed him as my Master, and it appears that to him this is good enough.
I mentioned it again back in Amsterdam. I was given an answer of sorts - in the question about what my own name is. Diana is not my true name.
Remember the baby? I posted this here some time before...

 

There may be millions of other girls all named Diana - the name says absolutely nothing about who I am, it's in no way unique, it was given to me by a dishonorable person who never cared, understood, or let alone appreciated who I am.

I don't know my true name, and I realized then that I may have no true name - or many. Like our Infernal Father.

And thus, my Master too may have no true name, or many names.

But then later I realized that I can do something pretty cool with my given name, at least when using its oral abbreviation, Diane. I can leave the letters in this same order and just insert three additional ones, and I get

D ef IAN c E

And strangely, that had been the first one that came to my mind when conferring with my Master in the park.
"My name is Defiance, and it's Armored Serpent, and She of Cold Blood and Iron Hand..." 

...and a bunch more that I don't remember.

But yes, Defiance.

Defiance is a most suitable name for me.

But Diane will do for now...

And Gladiatrix Satanae, of course.

Shaved undercut - last time before winter.

Also, yeah, have a good look at my shaved undercut. I really like it this way; nonetheless I need to start growing it out now for the murderous German winter. Every little bit helps... I need my hair to keep me warm.