I spent the Solstice, Sunday, riding my bike to Cologne to meet up with
some friends, especially one of my best friends who, although not a
Satanist, is on a very similar quest for the meaning and true nature of
existence as I am. It was a beautiful afternoon, even if the shortest
one of the year. I started out on the trip still feeling depressed but
returned feeling already much better.
And now... those stupid
holidays are upon us and hopefully quickly over, and I'm trying to
ignore them, doing business as usual, reading, listening to awesome
music such as this and this
...and updating my blog.
Here are a few things I still meant to get into.
I left off with the request of recommendations or information about books, or other publications, discussing dreams, out-of-body experience, the afterlife, or consciousness in general from the Satanic point of view, but so far no one has been able to give me any. I'm left wondering if really nothing of this nature exists yet... even while having to remind myself how back in my childhood and early teenage I had deemed myself to be the only Satanist in the whole world - a world I admittedly had seen very little of, and I hadn't ever met any Satanists in it and was made believe by those simpletons in excuse for a family that anything of such nature, along with vampires, witchcraft and other things spied in movies belonged in a realm of fantasy and didn't exist. It was a truly bleak, small, hopeless, joyless world in which I grew up... but enough of that.
Even in later years, anything Satanic was exceedingly hard to come by. But much *anything* was very hard to come by in the days before the internet, and before my access to it. Such as shark plushies, for instance.
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| Bela Jaws |
But back to Satanists and their relations to consciousness, afterlife, etc. - do they really feel no need to discuss or research these things in depth? I find this hard to believe, but all I usually find is lots of meaningless metaphors and mythology, and all too often inane and unsavory superstitions about bodily (sexual) functions. When it comes to authorship of any more comprehensive publications either in print or online it's mostly just the above.
And so I'm wondering, is it really only the god-people who ever discuss these things? And I'm deliberately saying god-people and not Christians, not in order to make fun of them but because they may not all be Christians at all. William Buhlman expressly states that OBE and the non-physical "heavens" are not a matter of one's personal choice for or against any religion. But since he then proceeds to get into all that unconditional love stuff, it obviously is only for the white-light people, or whatever you would want to call them collectively. They still are those who bow down to divinity, whether or not they ever go to any church, synagogue, or mosque to do so. They are the ones subservient to goodness, lawfulness, and meekness. Theirs is a path very different from mine.
Maybe I'm once again caught between all fronts, but that would neither be news nor an all too unique position. Others are caught up elsewhere.
Someone I enjoyed only a brief friendship with before he left Facebook in a fit of anger (about Facebook itself, I had nothing to do with it) even stated how he rejected the label of "Satanist" for himself and preferred either Luciferian or "Diabolist" instead, for the reason that the term Satanist has been so much abused for things that it is not and thus has become associated with things we would never want to be associated with. While this is true I disagree about abandoning the term of Satanism for such reasons - the name of Satan Himself is in it and it therefore cannot ever be abandoned, even if others who do not worship Him have unrightfully claimed it, stolen it, soiled it - those have never been Satanists; the only Satanists are us who do worship Him.
Another thing I somewhat disagreed on is the disdain my friend held for what he called "reverse Christianity". I personally never took much offense in this term since I've only known it as what real (theistic) Satanists are usually called by LaVeyans, and thus not overly negative but merely something to be expected. But what he was referring to is acts of blasphemy which he apparently deemed most unnecessary as he didn't acknowledge the Christian god at all. Myself I do see valid reasons for expressing one's utter hatred and rejection of god - more vehemently even when confronted with the "unconditional love" stuff mentioned above. It's not that such terms just arouse a strong response of revulsion in me that I feel urged to voice but I rather feel the need to explicitly state my adamant refusal to ever embark on that path - or should I say, to ever be assimilated by it. Because that's what it seeks to do.
It's not that I mean to insult the Christians in their faith, or any other religious people - they are only human beings and thereby unimportant; my quarrel is not with them but with their god, the entity that seeks to assimilate all in its delusion of "unconditional love" like getting a junkie hooked on heroine.
Those love-people also claim that fear is not real. Elsewhere I've heard it said that "fear is not real, but danger is." While the latter expression is somewhat more reasonable in at least acknowledging danger it is still incorrect - fear and danger are not the same thing, but both are real.
But let's for a moment go there, assuming fear is not real - what is fear at all? It is a very primary emotion arising from a creature's instinct of survival and self-preservation.
My favorite fiction author, H.P. Lovecraft, called it the oldest and strongest human emotion in which he is certainly right, except that it's not even a uniquely human one; it's shared by other animals as well. It's their self-preservation sounding the alarm; thus being of much more fundamental importance to survival this emotion of fear is certainly both older and stronger than that of love. And that's my point: If they claim that fear is not real, then how on Earth can they believe that love is??!!!
So you can either believe that fear and love are both real or both illusory. Both are equal in being animal emotions. My position is acknowledgement of their existence as well as of the need to control them. Both can work either for or against you, but if you lose yourself in love you're equally lost as in fear - or probably much worse since fear causes you suffering and thereby the desire to free yourself from it.
It's somehow like the belief in Satan and God: If you believe in the existence of one then you ought to believe in the existence of the other, or alternatively you may believe in neither of them, but either both or neither, else you'll make very little sense.
I found another interesting website and some more potentially interesting books, but as usual nothing related to the Dark Side.
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