Thursday, July 27, 2017

No, I'm not a woman!

I've discussed here in some earlier post my being asexual and also gender-nonconforming - which I have learned by now are two things that don't even necessarily always go together, but in me they do.
I'm no longer overly sensitive about these issues (Me, sensitive? Sounds quite ridiculous anyway - ever seen a sensitive war machine! LOL) since I'm overall quite satisfied with the way I've been able to shape this war machine that is my body.
But sometimes when such gender matters are brought up I feel compelled to speak out,not only on my own behalf but also that of others who may be trans or gender-nonconforming.

And today I saw a meme with the following text on Facebook:

"Transgendered people want to be accepted for who they are, yet they weren't able to accept themselves for who they were?"

My first and very to-the-point reaction:
That's bullshit - you are not your body.

And there we're also into the materialist problem again.

I've always seen myself as apart from my body since I never seemed to have much of a choice in this.
In the past I absolutely HATED my body, more than any words could ever convey. It was a horrible struggle to eventually make all the necessary adjustments to be able to halfway feel at home in it.
Note the expressions "at home", as in a house/shell/vehicle,and most importantly, "in" it.

Never in my life have I ever hated myself - I hated the body I was trapped in!

My friend who had made the original post then commented the following:
" And you're STILL 100% female...just the polar opposite of a girly girl. The fact that you've chosen the path of the warrior does NOT change your gender. You're an EXTREMELY rare type of woman, but you are a woman. There's no shame in being a woman, especially such a strong willed, strong bodied woman. Quite the opposite."

I replied:
" I can see you're meaning well, but it's simply not true. Not even my body is 100% female since I've been taking testosterone injections for over a decade, with side effects on my voice, my body hair, including facial hair (I got various pairs of tweezers since I use them many times each day). The only thing remaining 100% female is my DNA.
But none of these things is "me". The part that will remain after my body dies, that's the actual me, and it has no gender. I (my soul) has never been a woman and never will be."

- And this is the way it is.
I'm glad my body is pretty awesome now, at least for a f***ing human.


I like it the way it is now - scars and all. I always wished to be a monster, and that's what I am.

"What's that coming over the hill? ..." - It's me. LOL



No comments:

Post a Comment