Just as I've always suspected, lucidity in dreams is not an all-or-nothing matter but (as in so many things, gender being another) it's more like a gradual spectrum, and I've come to assume that in many of my dreams I've actually been very close. And last night I broke through once more. Once again I was flying - coming to think of it, I've probably been flying in about 50% of my lucid dreams.
In last night's dream I was aware but barely so, I wasn't really in control of what I was doing, I was flying but struggling to do so. Cables supporting street lights were in the way, but moreover it felt like something was trying to hold me down. I think it was some people in the streets below staring at me, and by doing that they were creating a resistance holding me down. I was trying to gain height and get away, perhaps to Amsterdam...
This dream sums up my current situation pretty well. My life is great all in all, I'm pretty successful at my sport since I've started working out at McFit in 2012, I like my way of life. I like the place I live in, my apartment with the view across the fields, everything... if only it weren't for certain "people" - if they can even be referred to as that - who hold me down, who keep me from "flying" because they're destroying my peace of mind!
Yes, maybe my peace of mind is fragile. And maybe it will sound petty when I'm telling now what the main cause for my intense anger is: some idiots leaving the front door open.
It may sound like a silly reason and I'm certainly not some strict and bitter person who would insist on things always going their orderly way. And no, nothing of MY stuff was stolen yet (another neighbor was less lucky). It does wear thin though when it keeps happening constantly, again and again. For centuries (well, but certainly years) I put up signs on the front door asking everyone to close it when they're coming or leaving - the signs were always ignored. There are only five apartments in this house with five official, adult tenants, with me being one of them, plus one six-year-old boy. I told the little boy that the door ought to be closed just in case his mother might have failed to, he told me he always closes the door and I believe him. I talked to all other neighbors. The problem is still most likely with the guy downstairs and his many, many visitors, their frequent, noisy parties several times a week, certainly involving drugs and what not. Of course he claims it's not him and that he told all his friends to close the door too. But somehow I don't quite believe that it's ghosts who are leaving the door open...
Another neighbor of mine actually has more reason to be mad about this, because it was his bicycle that was stolen out of the basement, not mine. Instead, this neighbor has stronger issues with the frequent noise downstairs at night. Myself I've pretty much put up with having to use ear plugs to sleep each night... I wish I didn't have to but somehow I got used to it over the years and am much more agitated about the door. I guess the reason is that it's MY appeals, especially in form of the written signs, that have been ignored over and over! This is the one thing: disrespect.
I can put up with less than ideal living conditions, with discomfort, anything. But being disrespected is the one thing I can't handle!
I keep telling myself it's just lowly animals; would you really expect a rat or a cockroach to respect you, to recognize your superior status? You know that you can't because it's beyond a rodent's or insect's mental capacity to comprehend or to even consider this idea. This is exactly why you should never give a damn about what others might think about you. If they're worthy they'll respect me, if not then they're on a level with rodents (or lower). And would you really care what rodents think about you?!
But the question is, how to get rid of these pests I'm plagued by?
In other matters things are going quite well. I bought a frying pan downtown yesterday because I felt my diet may be a bit monotonous - and it was also once more a dream that incited me to do so.
So I can start happily frying. Yes, that thing I produced earlier today was supposed to be a sort of omelet... who cares how it looked. Ingredients: 2 eggs, protein powder, sweetener. I liked it. :)
Also, the lucid dreaming website is back up and here's the article I was referring to in the previous post, about How to Improve Your Self Awareness, it's really worthwhile! Although I must still insist that, at least to me, it's not by all means a given to have hands in a dream. Who agrees (or disagrees)?
No comments:
Post a Comment